If any of you are like me, before the clock struck midnight on December 31st, 2010, you were already analyzing ideas to make 2011 a better year than the one before. Getting in shape seems to be a favorite among many New Years Resolutions, and justifiably so. Although my blog will be primarily about my health and fitness, this is not just a New Years Resolution. Many will argue New Years Resolutions don't work, and I could agree. However, today I write this entry at a crossroad in my life. Please allow me to explain a little about me and the "blood, sweat and tears" behind this blog.
Thinking back to a time when I truly felt comfortable in my own skin was at family vacation in 2007 to the Florida Keys. Since then, unfortunately I have sat idle-by and let my health take the back burner. Ofcourse, life gets in the way for all of us. I can blame my job and the stress it brings. I can blame the long twelve hour shifts and the fact that I work midnights. I can blame moving in with my boyfriend over a year ago and gaining "happy" weight. I will be the first to admit I have let things get out of control! I sit here today 60 lbs (just to put a number on it) heavier now than I was then. That's twenty pounds a year!! And for three years I have been allowing this to happen. Well no more!!
Just the other day, while on the phone with my mom I began to tear up trying to explain that I've become a private eater. I told her that I eat around others, and I also eat in private. There have been times when I get so ashamed of what I am eating and what others will think of what I am eating. I don't want to even consider a life continued down this path. I said earlier that I am at a crossroad in my life and I believe that with everything that I have. Thankfully, I am still at an age where I can turn everything around, and I plan to do so! I want to thank each and everyone of you for reading my blog. You heard about this one way or another and I thank you for supporting my therapeutic outlet while finding the raw version of myself. :-)
I am one day closer to a newer me!
Wow Michelle! This is a very cool blog site and more importantly what you are doing with it. You are right that you are young enough to turn things around. Change requires changing habits. Change is always a challenge but if you know what you want you can achieve it. If you never read the book Who moved my cheese you should. It is all about change. Every day life can just run on day after day. Change your thought process from the time you wake up till the time you go to bed! You can do it! you have the key to your success! It is a great day and a great start to your new life!
ReplyDeleteI am so proud of you Michelle! Self image is an important factor in people's happiness. I want you to feel good about who you are, what you look like, your lifestyle, the life you live...everything! You are an absolutely beautiful woman - inside and out.
ReplyDeleteOnly you can decide where you want to be physically and get yourself there. But anything I can do to help I am happy to be there for you.
Love you,
Aunt Michelle
Michelle I am so proud of you for starting this journey and being open enough to lay it out on the line for others to see too! You don't even know what a motivation this will be for all of us!! It is hard to be so brutally honest with ourselves but you will not regret taking the step to admitting where you are now and where you actually want to be.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Aunt Michelle that you are already beautiful inside and out, but I know that you want your health and self esteem back! You can do it and I am here for you to help you!!
I love you more than you can know!! Have fun on your journey!! It's going to be awesome!!!
Your short term goals are great achievable ones!!! Great job!!!
xoxo
Mommy
Thank you Mom, Aunt Michelle and Uncle Claude!!! I truly need all the support I can get, as we all know this road gets a little dark and lonely at times. I love the responses!!! I read my entry again just now and wonder if it all sounds as good as it did when I finished at 2am, considering I had been working on it nonstop since 9pm. LOL :-) I love you guys!!!
ReplyDeleteMichelle,
ReplyDeleteI am very happy and optimistic for you reaching your goals! I cried while reading this (of course lol), because as I read, I saw you being in a place where I have been in two different instances. The first is similar to your situation, in that I wanted to lose my "happy" weight/The Freshman 25lb (instead of The Freshman 15lb, btw!) without allowing my old health problems to resurface. I think I found a healthy balance (well close enough, anyway) and I know that you can too! Keep your goal in mind and you will make it there!
The second time I was in a situation feeling much like you do, was when I was talking with an academic adviser about my hopes to becoming a veterinarian someday. This person said to me, "Well, with the grades you have and the test scores you have, you wont make it into vet school. You should just pick a different career". Being in my second semester of vet school now, it is obvious that I didn't give up, and didn't choose a different career- because this is what I wanted more than anything. I'm telling you this story again, to remind you, that at times you may feel like, "Well with these genetics, and this crappy schedule, I can never get to my goal weight"...but guess what?! You can! You can do anything you put your mind to. And if this is what you want more than anything, than I know you will do it!
I have one last thing and I know not everything in life can be compared to something regarding vet school, but I have one more thing that does. Everyone says the hardest thing about vet school is getting in, and once your in, its like smooth sailing. Well, the hardest thing about weight loss, is getting to your goal weight, and once you are there, maintaining is like smooth sailing! You can get there, I promise! I am so proud of you and I love you so much!
Leah
You made me cry. And it's all good..... I haven't read any other post yet, because I could probably say ditto to all that they've said. But I can tell you that I know it took an incredible amount of courage to say the things that you said. It would be so easy for me to also do the things you've done in the past, and have done it too. From the bottom of my heart, I pledge you my support in any way. You are surrounded by a whole family of people who love you & I know that they will be there for you as well. I'm here to encourage you my phone, my notes, or in person. And I always need an excuse to go for a nice walk in the woods or beach or would be happy to teach you a step class or two. From your blog title, I'm reminded of the saying.... "God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and a light for the way. " I love you and I'm here for you. Your starting with a great attitude & that always comes first.....I'm proud of you and love you very much..... Granny
ReplyDeleteMaybe someone can help me change my name title. I think I had help setting this account up from the past & my Autoharp delinquent name appeared.....OMG I need help./\\??? :)
ReplyDeleteMichelle, first how is what you wrote here last week going?
ReplyDeleteCutting out soda/ sugary drinks- commonly known as "empty calories"
Drinking water with every meal
Power walk 3-4 miles as often as I can- this will be training towards my running goal
Cut out "bad" carbs- pasta, bread and also processed foods
Load up with veggies- I love this part! I can eat veggies until I'm full :-)
It is so good that you keep posting on here which as you said is good therapy. It is absolutely. I have a ton more thoughts and ideas. 1) Do you have your weight goal and your size goal written down where you can see it. 2) Do you have a picture of someone you want to look like and one of someone you don't want to look like. Putting it on the fridge is great motivator. 3) Two journals which do not take a lot of time a) one to write down everything you eat each day. I would not necessarily count calories now but just write it down and b) a journal to write down what you do each day for exercise. Whether it is a good day or bad day write it down. This will keep you moving forward. My favorite thing to say is subscribe to RSM (relentless forward motion) taking a step backwards is acceptable as long as you beging to move again. Heck ask Aunt Michelle I had the worst workout this morning and felt horrible. I basically bonked from lack of calories and it does not feel good. Everyone has bad days but since I have had my share over the years I know it is on day and tomorrow will be better. Keep that thought. 4) I know you have a personal trainer for a month. I hope this person is a motivator and will push you and follow along with what you are doing. There are many good trainers and many bad ones. I was at my gym this morning and the trainer was texting while his client was doing her sets. That is just not cool. If you are going to invets in your health get the best you can. 5) Ask if your trainer can make a copy of your workouts each time so that when your month is up you can go and do creative workouts on your own. 6) Back to the workout journal. Whatever the start day is for your week the day before write down your plan for days to work out that week and the type of workout. If all else fails powerwalk. Just keep moving. Your aunt Michelle mentioned not being selfish at times. You must make workouts a part of life and make time for yourself. Making it a way of life is tough but if you stick with it long enough it will happen. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't do it. Take control of you and your health. you can do it!