Here I am over two weeks into this blog and already I feel like I have failed. I thought by now I should have been able to tell you all how excited I was that I have lost weight. I'm truly struggling, I thought this would be a little easier. My Uncle Claude commented on my last entry "I just want to make sure in your mind you are not waiting for the pefect time, perfect gym, perfect diet or perfect blog before you start to move forward." I agree with him 100%. I know I have allowed some or all of those to be excuses in my mind in the past. I tell myself everything has to line up perfectly before the weight will come off. I have mentioned that this journey in my life has so much meaning, and because of that alot of emotions are tied into this "lifestyle change". It took three years to get to where I am today and it's not going to come off overnight.
I realize there is no perfect time, no perfect gym, no perfect diet and definitely no perfect blog. I need to stop letting these things prevent me from moving forward. They say "you are your own worst critic." This past week I learned I am definetely my own worst critic. In order for me to "move forward" I need to address the issues at hand instead of hiding in my shell. Luckily for me, I have this blog as therapy and I can talk about the instances that make it easier for me to revert to my old habits.
One night last week while at work, I ran into another employee of the Police Department. This employee doesn't work in my department so we haven't seen each other in a while. At the time, I was on the way out for my lunch break with a co-worker. Assuming this person didn't want to say anything to me in front of my company, I received a text message from him the next day. He told me it looked like I had gained weight since the last time he saw me and he began asking questions about my diet/workout plans. Of course this upset me, although I don't think he meant to hurt my feelings. I realize that these things come up occasionally, some people are just alittle more forward than others and to each their own. However, this caught me off guard. On a positive note, maybe someone who hasn't seen me in a while will be the first to notice when I have lost weight.
This past week I signed up for six months of personal training at my gym. I am trying very hard to give this time. In six months with hard work and dedication I know I will be pleased with my results. Here's to another day.... and despite my weaknesses I hope there is something for everyone to take from this. I try very hard to start each day with a positive thought. Otherwise I have found it is very easy to criticize anything that doesnt go perfectly. I hope everyone has a fantastic Friday!!!
Michelle,
ReplyDeleteThe email update would be great! Hope you can get that switched. And I feel your pain on not making progress yet. WHat you have probably done is you have taken an image of what the perfect day looks like in your new lifestyle and are trying to align the stars to make sure everything falls into place to make it happen. I can promise you the stars rarely align. That's just life.
Claude has a way of seeing right through to people's problems as they relate to a healthy lifestyle. He is a highly motivated person and nothing gets in the way of his workouts except injury or illness. That is not a common trait in people. Even me, the first thing that falls off my daily routine when I am spread too thin is my workouts. The ONE thing that is for me, I drop. It's a shame, but there is a part of it that is UNSELFISHNESS at work. I make sure everything and everyone else are taken care of before I take care of me. The good news is that I know when I do it and I don't let more than a couple of days go by before getting back to it. I deserve that time for me.
My only suggestion is to put NOTHING MORE ahead of your workouts. No blog post. no gym, no trainer, no social meals...your stars will fall into place more naturally when you get started on you.
Make a 1-week goal if you need to. Walk every single day for 1 week and commit to a meal plan for that week. There is no long term commitment and you can stop looking at the long road ahead of you and rather focus on the short road and I can guarantee you would see results, feel good and be able to then focus on the next week.
I love you and you're gonna get there!