Heavy on the Heart

I am alittle frustrated with myself and the fact that I have let a WEEK go by already since my last post. This past week was dedicated to soul searching, and I have really needed it. I found it important to come up with reasons why I have not been able to achieve my (weight-loss) goal in the past. I came up with a few answers to my question and would like to share them with you all. 

I believe I am able to give myself a pretty quick self-assessment and if I'm completely honest with myself I can say that I have never given this 100%. Truly! That hurts alittle to admit, because looking back at my first sentence I already feel like a failure. I have realized that I am an all or nothing girl (Thanks Mom!) :-) and in the past I have been able to accomplish either the diet or excercise portion but never both at the same time.

Last night, I stopped at the dollar store with a friend to pick up soda and candy. Ofcourse I know how terrible these things are for me. I know that when I ask several different people in my life advice on what to eat and I get practically the same answer from every one of them, that what they have said is true and I need to take it and let it change my life. I know what is good for me and I know what to stay away from. I know all of this!! Yet, when I'm alone or with someone who might not be "reading the labels" as closely as I am, I sneak right back into the comfort zone. Once I get into that mindset that I've thrown it out the window it is very difficult to pick things back up to where I was even the day prior. When it was time to snuggle up on the couch and begin watching American Idol later in the evening, out came the two boxes of candy unfinished from earlier. Now I don't want to scare anyone by saying boxes, LOL these are boxes you would find at the movie theater. Overpriced (hence the dollar store purchase) and underpackaged. Nonthelesss, not good for me or the goal I am trying to achieve. THANKFULLY, I was snuggled up to an amazing boyfriend who wants to see me succeed and threw BOTH of them away without even thinking twice.

My workplace is another example of where I give in to temptation. Three or four days of the week it is very easy for me to drive through or pick up dinner on my way to work. Again, I know the repercussions of this habit. I know that anything from a McDonald's, Chick fil A, or Taco Bell bag can "live" for quite sometime without breaking down. If it doesn't break down naturally, it will live in my stomach just as it lives in the bag. Keeping the theme of being completely honest, I know that I can't blame anyone here but myself. I choose to pick something up for dinner on the way to work for convenience. It's much easier than waking up early, starting up the grill and cooking a piece of chicken. But moving forward, I said I was an all or nothing girl, and I need to cut out the fast food. But where do I draw the line? I can't ask others not to get the things that I have trouble staying away from. I can't ask people not to bring in cakes or cookies to share. How do you not give in to your temptations?

Occasionally, I have been asked if I keep a food journal and the answer has always been no. I can remember back to when I tried and failed at Weight Watchers. Logging what you ate was key! They preached that the bites, licks and tastes add up. Either I didn't believe it then or I was too lazy to do so, but if I continue to not log what I eat and  not hold myself accountable this entire blog will be pointless. I am making a promise to myself from this day on that I will keep a food journal.
I am joining LA Fitness this Friday. I have spent this past week checking out different ways excercise because I wanted to make sure I picked the one that fit me the best. LA Fitness offered a program where I can have any two guests join me at any time for as often as I want. I feel this will be a huge help because nine times out of ten I will be working out alone. But there will be days when I don't feel like going to the gym or when I just need a good push. I have access to any location and my friends and family will be able to workout for free! They have scheduled my hour assessment with one of their personal trainers when I return on Friday. At that time I will get my current measurements, which I'm sure I will want to burn, but I plan to share them with you all so it is documented and some day I will be able to look back and compare.

I will leave this for now, I apologize for the lengthy post. I need not go a week without an entry anymore!     :-) Thank you for sticking with me through my frustrations. I cherish every one of you and value your opinions!! Please feel free to share whenever needed. To another day closer.....